I have observed much apathy in our corner of NC and much impulsiveness. It makes for a regressive dance of one step forward and 5 steps back…… which gives me the image of stagnant pond water. People who don’t allow new growth and diversity, only want stagnant pond water to live in……
Apathy is when you don’t do anything, you are indifferent to your surroundings or things happening around you. Impulsiveness is kind of the opposite. It’s when you don’t think before you do or say something and you just do it or say whatever…. in my life I guess I struggle more with impulsiveness in me and apathy in others. However, there needs to be a middle ground.
Sometimes when I get stressed or feel the stress from weeks or months of a type of stress, which sometimes comes later. sometimes it’s overwhelming and it will cause my brain to act impulsively, say things that I shouldn’t say to others before thinking, do things without thinking, which leads to things like dents in cars or for me saying things that might be misinterpreted or hurt others when I would never want to hurt others.
My impulsiveness has led to many tears out of frustration of my learning disability. I’m not the only one who gets frustrated, anybody with ADD/ ADHD gets frustrated due to that impulsiveness. If we don’t stop to think and it’s not all the time once we have it under control but when it happens it hurts not only ourselves because we feel stupid but it can also hurt others’ feelings or even break up friends.
However, at least I know and I’m aware of it but even when I do say something wrong or do something wrong nine times out of 10 it’s out of honesty.
But the one frustration I have is apathy of others standing by and letting something happen and not saying anything. I had a friend who dated somebody, never told me that they were hurting them. If they had told me or anybody we could have done something about it but what’s really frustrating is when you do tell somebody and they don’t do anything about it. They think it will blow over. That’s one thing I don’t know that I can get used to down here. I’ve heard this in several different places and it usually is said like this: well maybe they’ll just get through it or maybe this will blow over or just wait they’ll stop, give it time.
I think that’s problem because if you give it time once and they do the action again and you give them time again to let it “blow over” but they still do the same action that’s ridiculous! It needs to be dealt with as soon as possible.
In a classroom, if a teacher sees a student doing something and reprimands them right away they will know that the teacher is aware of their actions so they cannot do that, whether it’s throwing something or talking or whatever it is. It’s making others aware of their actions and that they are being seen. Sometimes adults don’t think that others care what they do so they tell lies or they make up something or they spread rumors or they just do what they believe is right in their eyes without knowing what it would look like to others. If we make them aware, right away, that “yes we do see what you’re doing and we don’t approve of it” , then they should stop wrong Behavior. I ask my friends that if I do something wrong or say something wrong to gently tell me so that I can grow and be a better person.
Some people can handle feedback and some people get defensive and deny that they did anything. My students do this alot. You see them talking to somebody, you say stop talking and they say right away “I wasn’t talking” but you and everyone saw you….. why do they do this? I don’t know but children who don’t take responsibility for their own actions grow up to be adults that don’t think they do anything wrong.
Most of the time I feel I do everything wrong yet, sometimes I feel I don’t do anything wrong. I do many things right because it’s from my heart or it’s an honest feeling or statement.
Being assertive and proactive would be that middle ground when you see someone treating others unfairly. Stand up for one another as you would stand up for Christ. Not with sword of tongue but with love and honesty, bringing light to the lies and deceit. Then and only then will the demons go back from whence they came. (you like that? That’s the holy spirit talking)….
The point is that you can not be all impulsive or all apathetic. You cannot be an adult who doesn’t think before doing or saying something nor can you just sit by and not do anything when injustices happen or when wrong behavior happens. You have to always think. Not easy when your brain is a little different than others but not an excuse either. You need to think, “does this need to be said?” or “if I say it privately to them and sternly maybe they will see I won’t put up with ‘wash women’.” or “ I am sorry, this is what I did, I didn’t mean for it to hurt you, I pray you can forgive me and we can still be friends”
So admit when you’re wrong, accept the consequences, accept responsibility, don’t be indifferent, and stand up when the time is needed, after you have thought and prayed about it. Don’t live in stagnant pond water but don’t put in chemicals so fast that others get hurt…..